Goodbye 2010

"2010 is going to be brilliant!"

And it was. In fact, it was over just a bit too quickly. I have never faced an end of the year with such trepidation.

2011 looks so foreign. Just look at the formation of the numbers. So odd. So off. I try to imagine the new year but there's nothing there. I don't know what to expect. Anyways, I'll leave saying hello to this stranger for the next post. This is about saying goodbye.

Triumphs!
I was a happier person. I was fortunate enouh to have housemates in my last year of uni that not only brings put the wacko in me but have the idiotic streak in themselves to play along with me.
Being happy also makes me more receptive towards people around me. I have made friends from strangers.
I poured my sweat and blood into design.
As best as I could, I have kept procrastination to a bare minimum.
Climbed the highest peak in Malaysia.
Made mom so proud she cried.
Spent more quality time with family.
Spent more time than I would have imagined with the two stooges.
Truly living the final year of my life as a student to the fullest.

Failures.
Thought of only myself when it was really about others.
Wasn't able to execute all my ideas due to unseemly time management.
Didn't save a single cent.
Lost a wallet.
Let a friend slip away, knowingly, purposefully.
Giving up without a fight.

This time last year I was with hf and Rui in Singapore. I was looking forward to new year with anticipation. Oh, and I was nursing a heart ache too.

This time this year I am home with family, will be counting down to the new year with them for the first time in years. I have completed a journey rather brilliantly. Ahh... 2011. I don't know what to make of you yet.

Happy new year dear readers!

Ta Peeps!

Gonna pack up soon and enjoy a leisure pre-dawn drive back home. I guess this really puts a full stop on things. Things have gotten sorta complicated as of late. I need a breather away from all this. I need time of my own to decide what is it that I want to do. Time to be away. Time to just enjoy being with me. And of course, with family too.

No one told me when I left home four years ago, it will be permanent. (more on this when I'm in a more emo-ish mood)

Ta..

Last Days of Semester 8

I did plan to show progress on the things I did for the final exhibition. But alas, I finished all advertising executions, portfolio book and promo items all in two weeks, with a major part of them all in the final week. There was simply no time to blog about anything. However, I did manage to snap some work in progress.

In the end I managed to pull off a port book, some coaster drawings, a CD sleeve and some stickers. Nothing fancy, but they did the work.

It was crazy. The exhibition. We weren't prepared at all for the rush that was gonna compel us. It was good fun going through all that with my classmates. At moments like these, you'll come to appreciate those people that you can turn to with a request and they'll just do it for you, no questions asked.

For my own part in the exhibition, I was quite disappointed with myself, for not being able to pull off the things I had in my head for the whole semester. For everything that I displayed during the exhibition, they were the bare minimum of what I had in mind. There was this trepidation in me, for I have asked a lot of people to come. My mom, all my closest friends. But then again, it was also because they are people closest to me that I didn't mind showing them my work. They'll understand.

Wokay... so my work wasn't that bad. Just, not, great. Hah.

I love my mom for being there. I seriously don't care a fig for convocation. Having her here for my exhibition was all I could asked for. When she was done perusing everything, I asked her what she thought, about my work and all. She was like "What is there to say? Aiya..." MOM!!! *facepalm*

Oooo... she got herself a new iTouch. One of the reasons I wanna go home. To play with this new gadget~!

And of course, nothing will be the same without these two crazies. Through thick and thin! Rui came all the way from Singapore for this. I was a bit sorry coz there really wasn't much to see on my side. All. The. Way. From. Singapore. But but but... she had to come!! She's OBLIGATED to come. Bah. Don't care. Thanks Rui!!

And Hooi Fong, for many times our crazy antics had her sacrificing sleeping time when she had to work the next day. Aih. So sorry. But but but... anticipate more of these in the future. Hahahah~

And not to forget, nutty Georgians on the move. Thank you, Chia Li, Chia Yinn, Evelyn, Kar Yee and Yueh Yih. Oh... and my cousin sis, Tres! Some came all the way from Penang just for this. And once again, I couldn't help but wish things were better. But at least you guys got some free cake from Fragments!

And o yeah... Tham, 41 and I attended the Kancil Awards Night on last Friday. We WON!! Merits and a bronze. My so-called one and only achievement to mark the end of my student life. I appreciated the night for the dinner we had on our own after leaving the awards. Just teasing and talking about random nothings. Thank you Tham and 41, you guys were fantastic team mates. I couldn't ask for anything better!

Woohoo~ I love my boots. Gotta get myself a new pair though. It's appearing too often in all my formal photos. Hahaha~

And on the last day of exhibition, when everything was cleared up and it was just us, there, with nothing much else to do.

Just a handful of the fantastic people I have met in my four years in LUCT. Funny, there weren't much photos taken during the whole exhibition. Maybe we were all just too busy running around trying to get our own things finished.

And so, that's it. Four years. Finished on a cloudy, gloomy evening. So many things happened and so many people were there. I wasn't able to absorb the moment. There is only this solitary picture to remind me of what I felt at that time.

All I could remember was a tinge of sadness. Is all.

This space feels like a safe niche away from all the clutter, mess and busy-ness I'm facing right now. I wanna grab a pillow, rest my head and sleep until I wake up naturally. Tomorrow's the last day to finish everything. Sleep can wait. I'm going for excellence right now.

Biz card

Wokay, don't mind my previous post. That was madness from all the stress talking. So, here, an honest recap of my progress, one week to exhibition day. Shit, like really, next week today is exhibition. *faint*

Check out my business card design. I wanted to do something that represents both my graphic design and illustration skills. So on one side, it's sleek and smooth, totally professional. And then the other side will act as a canvas for me to display an example of my illustration.

Ta-da!

So blah.

Hahaha... I totally dislike it. When I envisioned it, the beauty in my mind was not this. Anyhow, I sent this out for offset printing just so I have some cards in hand on the first day. Am planning to redo and print another batch. So if you're coming for my exhibition, do come from second day onwards, 25-27 NOV. Hopefully by then you will get a nicer business card than this piece of toot.

One week. Too scared to list down all the things I haven't done. One thing about procrastination is it will make you realise how much you want to do the things that you simply don't have the time for. Threw out a lot of ideas simply because there isn't enough time.

No one to blame but myself.

To snooze now, then work. Ta!

Progression

Wokay wokay. So this is like Week15, right? Which means submission and all that shit right? And I did promise to show progress of all my finals, right? Right? Right? So, here goes. Progression:

LOL!!!!! ROFL!!!! Shit la this time.

If Only

Happy birthday to you.

I wish you could have been here with mom and witness my graduation.

From the little girl who rode behind you on a bike to school every day to this adult, who will be graduating from university.

I wish you could have been here. I want to take a picture with you and mom, side by side.

I've never liked flowers, but I want you to bring them for me.

I want you to be there snapping pictures at me and I want to chide you for being annoying.

I want you to be there, for it will be one of the proudest moments in your life.

I want you to be there, standing in the crowd with your grandchildren, every one of them bugging you to carry them higher so they can see better.

I want you with us on our yearly trip to Genting. I want to see you spoiling the kids rotten with too much cotton candy and sweet corn.

I want you to be there to see the fruits of your labour.

I want to earn my first salary and treat you and mom to a nice dinner.

If only you could be here. I still miss you.

THE POINT official site

This is it. No turning back now.

www.gotothepoint.wordpress.com

The official site of our exhibition, THE POINT.

I now have a major case of nerves. Hur. Breathe. Stop thinking, start working.

Joys of a Lunatic

4.29am. Working on unappealing advertising. I have this thought in mind where once I am done with all the executions for advertising, the real fun can begin. Portfolio book. Self promo items. Exhibition's on 24 November. I figure if I really focus and give in ten day's worth of good solid work, things don't necessarily have to end in disaster. Minimal sleep. Productive days... and mostly nights.

I am so afraid. I think it's even affecting my appetite. Lunches and dinners are the time of the day which I look forward to. A couple of hours away from the computer, comforted by good food.

As much as I am buoyed by this uncertain feeling if I could even finish it all, I find this so exciting. I will work and be weighed down by all these crazy amount of work! I will also revel because these are actually things I derive joy from. Bringing beautiful concepts to life, drawing, creating, designing. I love it all. These final days will be hard, they will be tough. As they are gonna be the last days of my life as a student, I know I will make them worth my while. It's going to be superb.

I already have... four items nailed down from the five promo items that we have to come out with. From the picture above, you can see the stack of empty coasters that I bought. Empty. Fifty pieces. Hahahahaha... as if I didn't have enough work. Any idea on how I can use them? To draw? Mosaic pieces that can form a big picture? As business cards? As ninja shuriken?

I love my life as it is. This is gonna be the most exciting time for a while. Hee.

Go to the Point

Do you know how it feels when you're so pumped up about something you can see no wrong in it? We have worked really hard for this, our graduate showcase. Finally, we have something to show to the world, just the tip of the iceberg.

Visit facebook.com/go.to.the.point for our official Facebook page. Like us.

The concept of our exhibition is really simple. We want to get people to come see our work. We are the Point.

Anyways, back to seeing no wrong in what you do when you're so pumped up. I worry. When we launched the page we are already putting ourselves out there for criticism. Then moments when you're not sure if it's really that perfect after all come haunting. However, it's comforting to know I have good team mates to do this with. Everything will be good. We will go all out because really, what do we have to lose?

W13 Recap

Sign that I am still not totally into work: I am still getting eight hours sleep.

It's week13, let's have a recap.

I have officially said bye bye to Marketing and Design Cultures. Finished all journals, tests and my part in reports. I'd like to take the chance here to thank THAM for being a totally awesome guy. He took up the responsibility unbidden to finish up two group reports for us. Thank you! You've freed up a lot of lumbering-around-not-knowing-what-to-do time for us.

There are currently three really huge huge huge things to do. 12 executions for Advertising, Advertising presentation concept, Graphic design self-promo and portfolio book, and Exhibition (realise how I capitalise the E, coz it's like a named presence, hovering, looking down on us with a smug smug sinister smile).

A lot of wasted time. Old news. Not even gonna waste blog space berating myself. The only thing I can do now is to do do do.

And breathe.

On a side note, mom got back from Singapore and she called me. Told her about my lost wallet and how I am owing people money left and right. She then said she'll bank in some money for me. Feeling so much like a rotten egg, I messaged her and apologized for asking money from her the moment she got home. And she replied me this, "What are mothers for." Not as an ATM machine, no, but for always saving me from a critical condition (critical coz I can't access any of my own money!). Love you mom!!!!

I will pack a bag, be on a date with myself to freeze the present into a letter for myself, ten years later. I fear and I look forward to December. For I journey. I will.

What the TOOOT

Got all these lovelies from Yueh Yih's album.

It was just supposed to be a weekend where we gather among ourselves. But lo-and-behold, some unexpected people turned up and we ended up having a mini-gathering of Georgians in KL. As always it was great seeing old friends again. It's interesting, seeing them where they are now, different from where you might expect them to be from secondary school.

A biologist who is pursuing an MBA.

A peer already earning the big bucks when I'm still in school.

An economist whom I thought hated numbers.

A constant finally making a change to her life.

A lunatic who is beginning to make sense.

And me, nothing. Expected.

I love this angle! Makes my face look sharp and yeng!

Anyways, had some rotten luck which sorta spoiled my excellent mood. I lost my wallet don't know where, must have dropped it when I left my bag unzipped? Rm200 cash, RM50 cash card, IC, license, ATM card, Haagen Daaz Ambassador card, Student ID, dobi receipt, one Guan Yin scripture amulet thing and my paper map design wallet, a gift from Shiau Fong from London. And oh, I got a summon from parking by the side of the road at Bukit Jalil. And yeah, took a wrong turn on the way back from KLIA which resulted an hour's detour and an extra RM8.60 for toll. Had to borrow money from people but still insisted on eating expensive food which is soooo out of my league now.

Not the worst of luck. In fact, I'm quite lucky. Still good. But but but... aih, just let me whine a bit. I'll feel better.

On a totally random note, I wanna go somewhere I can breathe. Just me and the wide open sky. Fuhhh.....

Global Warming Presentation

We had this global warming poster presentation some time this week. Tuesday kut. 40 people. Each about five minutes, some so much more. When we left, it was about five in the evening.

These are some of my classmates' works. Ten weeks for completion of a single poster. Hah.

I've singled out some designs from my camera. There are of course a lot more nice ones, but I didn't manage to get pictures of them all. So here I'll only be showing whatever I got.

First up, Wienie's sweet poster. I really like the line work and also the water colour textures. Am always a sucker for textures. =P That's why you see textures in most of my works too.

Jing Wen's poster. Have always liked her stuff. Her style appeals very much to me.

Adora with hers. Upon closer inspection, there's some crazy Illustrator tracing stuff going on in there.

Nick's awesome hand-painted artwork. I've been doing digital all along, not so sure if I can paint with my hands on real canvas anymore. O wait, I've never been able to paint for real. Hah.

And Ms Forty-one. Stole this from Jing Wen's album, didn't get a picture of hers, but it's so good it'll be a crime to not include this. I will never have her patience with all these details. But whatever I cannot execute on my own, I can always admire from afar, right?

Yea. And mine. Printed in its full glory. I've officially grown tired from looking at this. I really need to come up with something new so that my portfolio will not only have this single piece of work.

Noooooo

There was rushing of work until 6.30a.m.

There was a missing the alarm, got scared awake by a knock on the door, early morning.

There was a presentation after being barely awake from too little sleep night before.

There was submission on mounting board.

Then there was a really good sleep after an all-day's work in the afternoon, until the skies grew dark.

Then there was sleeping until early morning, waking up naturally, totally refreshed.

How can this not be the end of the semester yet? It looks and feels like it. Gahhhhh.... Many many torturous days forthcoming.

The small breather was just an illusion. A cruel one at that.

E. Again.

I ♥ E神

Do you know typing "<" and "3" together translates into "♥"? I've only just found out.

Global Warning

We spent ten weeks on perfecting this global warming poster. Yes. Ten weeks. With the remaining five weeks for self-promo, portfolio book plus exhibition designs. Genius, yea, the person who managed this for us? Pure. Genius.

When I was brainstorming for ideas, I found myself keep coming back to this one: about the last piece of earth containing all the things we will want to protect and keep safe, mother earth in the background, turning her disappointed face away. So I began with some sketches. Since the poster is A1, I needed to work on a bigger piece of paper to get all the details in. I ended up with three A3s, joined together to form my composition.

After taking pictures of all these (my scanner only scans A4), I crop and resize them properly in Photoshop. The end product will be my final composition.

Next was deciding the colour palette. I came across this album design as well as the "Never Let Me Go" poster with a palette that I really like. These palettes are quiet and whimsical, bringing out the sombre and melancholy feeling that I seek. Using these images as references, I reproduced the colour palettes and use them to colour the foundation of my illustration.

In the end, I decided to take out the bottom part. There were simply too many things and the last part simply detract attention away from the center. By taking out the bottom, I've given myself ample space to place my headline as well.

I was really satisfied with this piece. However, the lecturer didn't really see this my way. She thought it looked flat and the colours not exciting enough. I didn't agree with her critique because it was not my intention to do something too "in your face".

But alas, I gave in to the fact that she's like a client I have to please. To give something neutral like the above a more exciting note was easy, just add a few textures and a more dynamic gradient in the background. Worked like a charm.

I did stumble upon a few nice effects when I was tinkering with the blending mode. Check them out. I like. But not suitable.

This is the final design which I will be printing on A1. I find myself surprisingly liking this better than the neutral looking poster. Another lesson in not limiting myself to my own thoughts and assumptions. There is always a way in improving upon something.

This is the first project that I've uploaded into Behance. I've decided to upload more works there so that it'll serve as my online portfolio. I want so much to have a website where I can put everything under one banner but for the lack of time, Behance is really my best choice.

More posts will come, a chronology of my preparation for graduate exhibition. Like my work? Help spread the word.

=)

Need Sleep

10.10.10

Must today be of at least some significance for all of us? Nah, not for me. But it warrant a random post in its honour.

Been contemplating a lot lately about priorities

When it's too much I really can't stand it

I need to see them

Blocked someone

My best friends are coming to KL, I need to see them

Hopefully sanity will return

I don't know what to think anymore

I just know there's a lot to do

So random it's no more random

Too much computer time

Too low productivity

How is that possible?

O right Facebook

I tried crying but there were no tears

I survived to Week8

Lost the passion somehow

Wasn't so sad after all?

I tried caring

For a bag of chips

Had a craving for Ruffles

Why can't I have what I want?

But apparently I wasn't really needed

O yea addiction

Been standing on the sidelines a bit too much

Been watching people live their lives

It's a mess

Need to live mine

Was just a passerby

Need to be hero in mine

Where are you?

But gotta know there's more

Lost your way?

Get a GPS

Random random on 10.10.10

Seriously, what's the big deal anyways?

missed the date

still couldn't listen to that song

is a fool no more

Whoa Fun

Just before going to sleep, let me list down the things to be done in five weeks. =) So screwed mannn.

1. CRISIS direct mail

2. WITNESS typography posters

3. KANCIL ambient design

4. Royal Opera House poster series

5. Parlophone integrated campaign

6. Kirin Ichiban integrated campaign

7. Five marketing product reviews

8. Mini Malaysia presentation

9. Kenya Hara summary

10. Design Culture journal

11. Portfolio book

12. Self promo campaign

13. Advertising/Graphic Design exhibition

14. Personal projects

Scared. Wicked. But really, I am gonna slowly cut off each item off the list. Gearing up. I am.

I only mean to do well, do my part. I never mean to slight anyone. O well.

Ada Exhibition

I'm nervous. Butterflies in the stomach and tingling crawling skin kinda nervous.

Nope, not coz I spot any hot guys but we're doing an exhibition. Finally. We've gotten a confirmation that we'll be holding an advertising/graphic design exhibition. Though unlike what I've always imagined doing this with the whole of BPD8, it's still pretty awesome.

There's so much uncertainties involved. We'll have to push, kick, crawl etc into completion. Only six weeks left. We have to pull this thing off in six weeks. So scared. So nervous.

What I really do like about this is getting to work with half of the rest of the class. These are people I have never been in a group with. Though we had only two meetings so far, I am optimistic we can all come together to get this done. After all, this exhibition is for all of us.

On a side note, I've completed 25 books in nine months. Not optimistic at all that I'm gonna hit fifty by the end of the year, but o well. Never knew I read so little. I actually thought fifty books in a year's easy!

When our exhibition's on, will you come? Please? =)

edit: I know why I'm truly nervous. I had yin yong, which means coffee, thus quickening my heart beat to resemble signs of being nervous. =.=

Book Quote

"It is what you read when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it."

Oscar Wilde

A hopeless romantic?

Why I Blog

You're reading this post most probably through subscribing to this blog with a reader or directly clicking on my blog's link on any blogroll. The point is you're reading this voluntarily and not because I shove the link into your face. This is the reason why I feel more secure putting down my thoughts here as opposed to sharing it on Facebook or Twitter. Mypencilstories is my own tiny niche in the world wide web, mine but far from being private. You are reading what I chose to write. You are reading because you wanted to and I never asked you to. So pray tell, if you're ever offended by my thoughts, why should I care? Well, that has always been my rationale regarding freedom in blogging. But this thought has been slightly altered as of late.

How blogging started for me.

I think I started blogging in... Form3? I discovered it in Friendster, "Thoughts of Shy Goghvinci". Through blogging I discovered my ease with words and the ease words bring me. I find it easier to pour out my feelings by rapidly tapping on the keyboard. But the ease of feelings doesn't just stop there, it comes from the assuring fact that there are people reading and maybe, just maybe, someone reading cares.

Blogging from those days earned me the understanding of an important friend. I think having read my words allowed her to learn more about me thus bridging the gap between us. I am not easy to understand as a person, I sometimes purposely make it hard. But through my blog, I am glad she managed to see me. Yes, Adrienne, I'm talking about you (or didn't you realise this?).

For myself.

I blog simply for myself. Okay fine, I blog initially for the attention. I like reading people's comments. I like the interaction that happens. But soon I realised I don't have that many readers anyway so it gradually became I blog for myself. For my deteriorating memory. Like really. When I tried to recall what happened in Form Six, all I could remember was my horrid results. I don't remember details. Reading back on old old posts allows me to travel back through time and read for myself the person I was then.

Gah. I can't even remember what class I was in in Form3!

For design.

This blog only ever become active back when I was in Year2. It was then when I realised I can blog so much more about the mundane happenings in my life. I can blog about the things I've learnt about design and the work I did. With this blog, I record most of my creative processes and my growth as a designer. With a name I love and can totally relate to, "Pencil Do The Thinking" became both my personal and design blog.

For friends.

Blogging is an extraordinary way to keep in touch with friends. Once, I had this group blog with five other friends. We update it frequently with things that happened, thoughts and opinions on anything and everything. I have lost count on the number of times I was touched by the motivation, encouragements and love carried across to me by mere words. But like everything else good, our shared passion for the blog slowly ebbed away. The fact remains the experience was something I'll never exchange for anything else.

For readers.

Did I mention I love the attention blogging gives me? When you're here, reading about me, well, the starring role naturally belongs to me, right? I don't have many readers, I think I mentioned this before too. But for however little there is of you out there, I sometimes blog with you in mind. Not often, but it happens.

Blogging with discretions.

Oh, and a concluding paragraph to my opening. Once I felt that a blog is one's personal space where one can just rant and write and pour all out without qualms. You chose to read this. I didn't force you. That's my rationale. But I've come to see what blogging without discretions do to a person.

I read about people who rant non-stop. Post after post full of anger and frustrations. And then I find my perception of that person changed. I don't mind the ranting and all those negativities, you have every right to say what you want, but at what price? People look at you differently. As much as you think there's nothing wrong with saying anything you want on your own page, from that moment onwards, people will think differently of you.

Some might say they don't care what people think. When you show yourself losing control of your emotions, you are actually showing people your vulnerabilities. As much as I let people read about what I do on a day-to-day basis, I can't stand to let random strangers know my real thoughts. This is the main reason why I will blog with discretions. To protect myself.

Lastly, blogging is good for the soul. =)

Woes of September

It's not right to always put nice nice things in here. After all, this is my personal design blog that's supposed to keep track of everything I've done design-wise, feelings and struggles throughout the creative process and of course, self-criticism on my own work. I revel in showing my own designs here that I'm proud of. On the other end of the scale, I'm ashamed to show these sub-standard work. I know I am better than these. But by the end of me struggling to save the design, I simply thought numbly "I don't know how anymore."

Maybelline brief. Design a graphic to put on a bag. The brief is pretty loose, so long as it's able to portray the spirit of Maybelline and New York.

I did some shit first. Composed several images and sent it over to the lecturer for approval. But after I set about executing it, I gave up. I don't see the point in tracing over images with no real purpose in mind. Fine. Scrap that. Start over.

Then I did this ornate design thing. I love it. Really. But the feedback I got back from the lecturer was "I have nothing to say, hope the client like it." Well, that did not tell me much, did it? So I turned to some people I hope will be able to give my some honest feed back. The general consensus was it looked like stock vector (never mind the fact that I drew and traced it painstakingly in AI). And then there's the ever reliable Yueh Yih. Comments memang tak bagi muka one. I showed it to her, and she out right told me, "Re do." I was just trying to make pretty things, not thinking. I hated her. Must she be so honest, even if I asked for it? Every designer is fortunate to have such a jerk for a friend. Good for the soul. Strictly no sarcasm intended.

Then I proceeded to redo this thing. And finally came up with something I could have cried over by the end. It's like shit.

It's bad when I couldn't even look at it directly. I look at it from far far away and couldn't see a single thing. Handing in this work filled me with helplessness. I couldn't really blame this on procrastination. I had ample time. This time, I just couldn't pull it off. Maybe I was thinking too much when the simplest of graphic would be enough.

But for the heck of it, I am owning up to this work (but no way is this piece of crap going into my portfolio). Owning up to it as I would my other designs that put a beaming smile on my face.

Ahh... solemn solemn post. Better things will come. It has to.

Ah Pui and Ah San

Whoa! Post long time in coming!

Two of my bestest friend in the whole wide universe has graduated. Weeee~~~~ (erm... about a couple of months back kut)

I was the first one to go into Uni but the last one to grad (that is if I even manage to, hah!).

I missed your big moment, Rui, I was too busy conquering the highest peak in Malaysia. I hope I've sorta redeemed myself by being there for Hooi Fong on her big day. But truth be told, I happen to think convocation's like a big waste of energy, an elaborate show put up just for the sake of the family. Dear all, when I graduate, please, I'd like cash rather than bouquets of flowers that'll wither and die on me the next day.

Gah. Went a little off track there.

I've come to realise there are details about the two of you that I may not be able to answer. Details that one will only know if we see each other constant enough. Gone were the days when we were there all the time for one another, physically. I predict the coming years will be an even bigger challenge and will take a bigger toll on our friendship. Career probably does that better than university.

But I know no matter where we are, we have threads in common. There are not many people I can turn to in times of doubts and frustrations. You can bet your sorry ass I will not turn into one of those so-called adults that when asked where are your old friends and will answer, "Don't know. Lost contact long ago."

All the best my friends, in your future endeavors. I fervently wish we do not be complacent in our lives too early, well, at least not until we are fifty! Have faith and dive, one wise friend once told me. Let's all do that. I think we'll turn out rather brilliantly.

We cannot be otherwise.

E

Cute ma? =DDD

My Date with Mom

For the Raya weekend, mom came down from Penang to visit me! I was worried about not knowing where to take her. She planned to be here for four days three nights, I couldn't really expect her to just bum around in my room doing nothing, right?

I needn't worry because mom came with only one objective in mind: FOOD. In fact, she emailed me with a list of places she wanted to go and short of demanding me take her. These were what we had for the whole duration she was here, in order:

Seremban Favourites Char Siew > Imbi Road Tai Loke Min > Kuchai Lama dim sum > Jonker Street food stuff (she totally disliked them. even snorted in derision at a stall of penang char kuey teow there) > Ampang Yong Tau Foo > Tenji Japanese Buffet > Ampang Yong Tau Foo (had it again for her meal before leaving, it was so good it warrant a back-to-back visit)

No pictures. Not a fan of taking food pictures, I prefer eating them immediately after serving.

Anyhow, I was burdened with the guilt of not doing any work during her whole time here. Then the guilt was elevated a teeny bit with every kind of food we had together. I appreciate having my mom to myself for these few days. If all went well, the next time I'll see her will be graduation.

For the first time in my 23 years, I felt slightly embarrassed and guilty for having my mother pay for every single thing. I console myself by thinking these will be the last bits. When I work next year onwards, no more such treatments. When I earn my own money, it will be my blessing and honour to be able to care for her. I have no ambition to get big cars and big houses, but I do want to pamper my mom by paying for her food and expensive stuff she will never buy for herself.

Love you mom. Till end of the year. =)

Not Good.

Very very scared now. The last time I procrastinated like so things turned out horrendous. I know it's awful for me to hope my classmates are slacking in their work as well so that I'm not left alone among this pile of work.

Gaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh.....!!!!!! I can't think for the advertising briefs. I HATE advertising.

That's why I'm gonna start on something simpler, the Maybelline brief.

Dear BPD8, if you're reading, WORK! Please work so hard and make me feel bad about slacking. I depend upon your momentum to propel me forward as well.

Bah.

Love for Books

I've finally went to the Bookfest held in KLCC. Twice. Once with my cousin, to first scout things out, then just now with friends, to finally buy some books. I admire my control this time around for I've only spent RM60 to buy three books. Last year, I spent about RM250 buying stacks of books plus CDs. Gah... luckily there weren't any old Eason Chan CDs.

These are the books I spent my good money on: Eat Pray Love, Empress Orchid and The Blood of Flowers.

Fictions are probably the only thing I read. When I buy during book fest, I try my best to get a variety of books eg. different genre and country. I like reading about different cultures, countries and equip myself with some historical knowledge. It is only with fiction that I will engross in reading. Give me a history book I'll probably doze off halfway.

My Books Read 2010 has reached #22. To reach my target of 50 seemed kinda far fetched now. Bah, never mind.

So many book sales going on! There's the BookXcess Raya sales and maybe a Borders sales. Mom's coming to visit this weekend. Maybe I can bring her to the bookfest? And buy more? *evil laughter*

Got yourself some books? Happy reading!

Hey Me...

Four months to graduation. Four months to the so-called real world.

Reminder to self: Anything but security. Anything but complacency. Anything but easy.

It's high time to scare myself wicked!

When in Doubt

I know of people who can't stand be taken advantage of. They might insist it's a matter of principle. Despite what people perceive of me, I have trouble standing up for what I think is my right. Even when I'm sure I'm right, I give myself lengthy pep talk for a semblance of reassurance. Unconsciously, I have developed this mental image of a weighing machine every time I encounter situations where I doubt my role. I weigh the pros and cons from all angles, adopting a tit for tat attitude.

But then recently, I have gotten tired of calculating so much over peanuts. It might be the right thing for me but not necessarily the right thing to do.

When in doubt, be generous. Not an easy thing to do.

My New Short Crop

I've finally cut off my hair, the longest I've kept since I was ten. The fear of having a bad short hair cut was outweighed by the frustration of waiting for my hair to grow till waist long.

A short short cut plus dark brown dye to colour out my faded highlights.

I think I look really good. =)