For This Year

Resolutions are really secondary. I don't know if I will keep them, but there are fun to make. What is more important is this tradition that I do not want to break. A couple of years back I've always given myself a frame of mind to face the new year.

2010, my last year as a student, I wanted to be brilliant.

2011, my first year working fulltime, I wanted to be brave.

So in 2012, it is going to be a year of possibilities. This year, I want to make my dreams come true.

So yea, dear me a few months down the road, please don't chicken out and please don't settle. You will be tempted, but do not give in. Heck, you're 25 this year and you still have nothing to lose. So go and pull your dreams from the clouds and make it real.

2012 Resolutions

Wokay, let's recap last year's resolution:

1. Be happy. Despite all the let downs, I was happy.

2. Learn how to make things move. Hell yeah!!

3. Learn how to code (pass if I can make my own website). Fail kao kao.

4. Illustrate. In terms of work, I did a lot. But in terms of developing my existing skills to a higher level, no.

5. Read 50 books in 2011. I lost count. But am certainly didn't.

6. Start and finish my Eason Chan artbook. Didn't start at all.

7. Save money for camera, laptop and holiday. (so not gonna happen, at least not all three at the same time) No camera, no laptop, but I committed to TWO holidays, which I have yet to have the money to go on.

8. Run. Hell yeah!!!

9. Lose fat, be healthy. Came a bit late in the year, but yeah, I did this. At least I started.

10. Be happy. I am.

Come to think of it, I think I did pretty good for last year's resolution. But then again, I merely accidentally achieved most of it. It's not like I remembered these all the while and strive to achieve them. Why even make resolutions if they don't work? New years have this magical ability to make everything feel brand new, as if we could wipe all the bad things off and make a clean slate. For me, new years are about having new hope and dreams. Or rather, renewed chances to make my dreams come true.

Foolish it may be, but I kinda like resolutions, so this is my list for this year:

1. Save half my salary every month. Be frugal. Really stingy! (not possible for Jan, CNY costs a lot of ka-chink)

2. Learn HTML.

3. Go to the gym at least 3 times a week. (yup, I have an effing gym membership)

4. Draw. Draw. Draw.

5. Start a new blog on design.

6. Be more focused in work. Thus leave work at 7pm when possible. (yea rite, of course, whatever)

7. Start my pet project.

8. Be good and practice more patience with a certain someone.

9. Earn more money.

10. Be happy.

If you realise this whole list is basically all about work. I wanna make work something enjoyable again. Away from the office, I want work to be a joy again. Leave work early, and go make art.

From Last Year

Bad memory of mine these days, I got so used to thinking I had this long list of resolution from last year. But reading back on my past post (first one in 2011), what I wrote was simply this:

Brave new environments.

Brave new people.

Brave new challenges.

Brave tough times.

It was something like a pep talk for myself as I stepped into my first real job as a multimedia designer. Thinking back, I thought this frame of mind that I set myself into was simply brilliant. I don't know if I adhered to these rules consciously or not, but it certainly got me through the year. Rui has this tendency to ask us to sum up the year in three words, I could think of only one very appropriate one: WORK.

Confucious once said, "Do what you love and you need not work a single day." I think it was Confucious. Hah. I thought that was complete bs. Or maybe rather my actions were not exactly to his words. I do not love what I'm doing, but I do love what I can do. This first year of working life got me down more times than I cared to count. I have another 30 years to go, maybe? Oh my.

I have been an awful blogger this year. So much so I didn't post a single thing for the last two months. Sorry 2011, I wasn't able to bid you a proper farewell.

‎"得一個人竟也不孤單
作伴有我夢我影我身"

Will talk more about this when I have the chance. Hee.

My Mom Blogs

Omg... my mom is so amazing. And her English's definitely more eloquent than mine:

http://mohbe99-2b-alive.blogspot.com/

Do visit her blog. Oh my, she blogs and I found out about this on Facebook! There's only just one post inside, I hope she continues to write. I know it's stupid, but doesn't it bemuse you sometimes to discover that your mom/dad is really a person, with thoughts and feelings, hopes, dreams, insecurities just like yourself. It's a humbling experience to see my mom through her writings, she's like this stranger who is thinking things that I didn't know she's thinking.

Do you get me? Will you ever think about getting to know your parents? No right? Coz it's like, they are these people who have been there your whole life, so what is there that you didn't know about them? It is here that we have underestimated them.

And nope, so not letting my mom know I blog too. It's... disturbing, okayyyy!

Worse

HAHAHAHAHA... this new blogger template is so crazy! But I like!

I like how I can now see all the stuff I've written from the beginning of time all displayed in neat squares. Looking back, there were so many memories and boy, do I think highly of myself. But wait! This is not the time for reminiscence. We shall leave that until 2012. Ohohoho~ I can't wait to summarize how this year went, what I did and didn't, and what to look forward to in 2012 (London Olympics, hello!).

I don't know why but there's this constant excitement in me that's so looking forward to the end of the year and new year! I don't have plans, really, I guess I just like looking forward to how everyone's especially jolly towards the end of the year, how warm and happy Christmas makes me feel. I went to the Gardens today and suddenly thought of how they used to play Christmas songs during the season and got happy from the thought.

There was so much negativity in my blog for the past months, or when I chose to blog about anything at all. I never cease to complain and whine about work. Well, 2011's basically that, W. O. R. K. But tonight, I'm in an especially grateful mood, pretty hard to come by, I would say. Tonight, as I sat bathed in the warm glow of my yellow/orangey cheap Tesco lamp, I wanna write. Seeing all my past posts all lumped together inspired me to blog good and proper. Oh, in case you're wondering from the lack of updates here, no, I'm not gonna drop this blog, even if no one reads it anymore, I still need a place to keep me sane. Put your hands up who's reading!!!

...

Fine. Awkward silence you suck.

Right right right, back on track! About being grateful. I was driving home one night, once again at about midnight, the road's empty, music's playing on the radio and I was talking to myself. I reiterated all the stupid that happened, prep talking to myself and suddenly a cliche lighted up, I thought, it could have been worse.

Getting ideas shot down by Boss. It could have been worse. Boss could have been an awful man and not be nice about it at all.

Getting work revised and finally changed into something that's not mine at all. It could have been worse. Boss could have been someone with no design sense and thought Arial's cool, when we all know Arial's just a Helvetica-wannabe.

Getting my confidence and self-esteem trampled on. It could have been worse. It could have been all just for spite instead of for work.

The past month left me feeling really battered and worn out. Sometimes I didn't know what I was doing here. I felt so insufficient. Opportunities were aplenty but I simply didn't have the ability to seize them.

And it could all have been worse. I could have been in a place where designers are not valued, merely machines that do design and not allowed to think. I could have been in a place so safe, so secure, that I'll never make any mistakes because there are simply no opportunities to make them, which also by default means no opportunities to succeed.

But luckily, I am here. Still here.

I am not saying this place is the perfect place for me. But it could have been worse.

Edit 5 minutes later: The first paragraph won't make sense anymore coz I switched the template back to the old one. I just realised in the new template, it has all these +1, tweet and FB like nonsense. I'm sure there's a way to take them away but I don't have the leisure to do it now, so back to the old comfortable, PRIVATE template for me. Eheh. Oops.

I wanna burrow my head in the sand and go back in time. But no, I'm an adult now, and adults don't run away. Adults face dragons head on and stick out their tongues and fake bravado.

Fuck this shit.

And adults are allowed to spew profanities. Hah.

Snailmailing

I remember when I was a kid, how excited I'll get when there's a letter in the mailbox addressed to me. Even today, in the era of technology and Facebook, I still find magic in hand written postcards and letters. However I might be more prone now to receiving summons than birthday cards.

This post is a tutorial on how to make kids happy. I bought some really cute letters, envelopes and stickers to send back home for the kids. Each letter contained different simple messages. For the boy that has yet to learn reading, I drew. I've also included stickers into each of the envelopes so that when they are opened, the stickers will fall out like colourful confetti.

It makes me happy to make them happy. Hopefully these images will make you happy too. :)

From the phone. The blogger app.

Is it better to feel anger, let everything that hurts lacerates your pride, in a way unleashing all the negativities. Strong waves of emotion wash away feelings, leaving one feel cleansed, empty, and blissful, maybe.

Or is it better to control yourself and feel indifferent, guard your heart and put on your best poker face. Feeling indifferent is less tiring, less dramatic. It's like giving up, throwing in the towel. Giving up to save yourself.

I don't know. All I'm thinking is, can this month be over already?

A Break

6.07 pm. I'm going home soon after a four months absence. I have no words to describe how much I miss home. Today's an awesome day! All of a sudden I have $$$ rained on me; claims, petrol money, etc. Suddenly I've got all these petty cash to cover my expenses back home. Alrighty!

May I say how turbulent August was/is? So many things happened that once again prompted me to think about my goals and plans. May I just have one day back home, go chill at the beach and just contemplate? You know, like an old man looking out at the sea thinking about the past, I wanna sit there and look and design my future.

Oooo... have you ever heard of an amazing deal such as this: one day leave in exchange for a 9-days break!

My blog has been in such abandonment. I couldn't even manage more than a couple of post a month. I don't have that many things to say about myself anymore. It's work, work and work. Ahh.

DUO

I love Eason Chan. I think this is the first thing I tend to let people know about myself... like an ice-breaker of sorts. However, I'm not that sort of fan-girl that scream at the sight of him nor do I memorise his birthday or hates his wife. I liked him many many years back. Maybe when I was in Form2? I just happened to find out that he is the singer to this song I liked very much, 幸福摩天轮, and that was it. His album was the first original that I bought, I cried and laughed to his songs. As I grew up, I looked upon him as more than a pop idol. I was inspired by his attitude and passion in life. My perception of life has largely been influenced by him. Nothing too complicated, simply living life and enjoy the moment. Inspired by him, I do the things I love and dared to pursue impossible dreams.

Hah! A rather lengthy opening but I just love to share about why he's so great to me.

Anyways, he was in Malaysia for the DUO world tour concert. Needless to say, I was there. What was so different this time was I was there in all parts, from the time he was in Sg Wang to promote the concert, to the concert, and finally to a small gathering post-concert.

I remembered the first time I saw him, real-life, very up close. I was so giddy with happiness that I shook his hands and said something encouraging to him. This time around for his autograph session in Sg Wang, it was rather cool. There were a lot of fans, the MC of the event was asking the fans to speed things up so that everyone could get an autograph, and if possible, just let Eason sign and not even shake his hand. However, Eason insisted in shaking everyone's hands, look them in the eyes, and said "Thank you." I was happy from that session, but far from feeling my feet of the ground like the first time. I thought to myself, "Die! Is my love for him fading?!" Darn... so drama.

Gawd... this post is getting so lengthy and I am running out of steam to write it. Bah. Let's just get to the pics.

The concert this time around, truthfully, was not the best. His songs and voice, as usual, was great. However he didn't seem to be really feeling it that night. His encores were usually very long, but he only encored five songs that night, so the concert ended earlier than expected. Gah, and he sang some mandaring songs that I wasn't familiar with. There were so many songs from his DUO album that I was looking forward to hearing but wasn't sung.

I've been to his concert three times prior, the last two times with 41. Unfortunately, she couldn't make it last minute. Umph. I was really disappointed that she couldn't make it, I thought we can have the chance to catch up on each other's life and to enjoy the concert together. But nevermind. There'll be more opportunities in the future, right, LIMA RATUS EMPAT PULUH SATU?!

What made the concert this time really amazing was the post-concert gathering in Hilton KL. Do you know that I am a paying member of Eason Chan's official Malaysia fan club? RM30 lifetime membership *peace*

Anyways, it was arranged for the official fans to have this small gathering post-concert with Eason. On the way to Hilton KL, I was with my colleague who's also a fan (we were at the concert together), we got lost so many times! I hate KL roads. We missed an exit and had to make so many rounds to the point where I gave up in trying to find our way to Hilton. I was sooo dejected. I don't know why, maybe luck was with us, we managed to langgar our way to Hilton, and to the gathering!

While waiting for Eason to come into the room. Mann... we both looked asleep on our feet.

Even before he came into the room, I didn't dare believe that this is going to happen. It's like a dream come true!

When he finally made his appearance, I thought, "He looks small." I guess I was so used to seeing him on screen, on stage, he seemed like a celebrity, out of my reach. But now that we were in the same room, he's like a normal guy, in jeans and T, looking really tired but still smiling at us, because he's awesome like that.

I managed to snap a few pics on my iPhone before putting it away and drinking in the sight of him. People clamored around him, me included, and we stood there listening to him talk. Some asked him questions, which he patiently answered. He was there. Just there. Talking, joking, smiling, laughing. My gawd. I was in the same room with Eason Chan as if I knew him personally.

Before leaving, he took the opportunity to shake every of our hands. He shook my hand, look me in the eye, and said "Thank you." I was stunned. So stunned. He looked so tired but his eyes were so alive and my gawdddd.... he looked so good! I swear I'll never say he looks ugly again.

The whole session lasted about 20 minutes. His assistants were actually rushing us to cut it short and waiting to escort him away. Eason might be unaware because he wouldn't stop talking! He would talk talk talk and slowly back out of the room, then suddenly come back in just to finish what he started. Then he went out again, then come back in to say another thing.

After the whole thing ended, I was just so happy.

This pic is now my iPhone lock screen wallpaper. Everytime I see this I couldn't help but smile. Eason Chan, I love you, please don't die.

Hee. Ta!

So like, a really quick one.

I'll be going to Eason Chan's DUO concert tonight! Amazing song list! I don't wish to jinx this, but might my fondest wish come true tonight? If it does, I'll be sure to blog about it here.

Have a good weekend yourself, peeps!

If I have money, I will:

1. Shop in Singapore. Get myself new jeans, new dresses, new tops and nice Ts.

2. Take my car to a carwash.

3. Buy a mattress.

4. Buy an iPhone casing.

5. Buy books from Bookxcess.

6. Screw it. Buy books from Borders.

7. Buy a headphone.

8. Drive home every two weeks.

9. Join a gym.

10. Go for facials.

11. Go Jaya Grocer and buy every kind of imported ice cream.

You know what. I really don't know what I will do if I really have money. Umm.

Ciak Pa Liao

Yay~ first home video. The girls were reenacting a scene from "Money Not Enough 2" I think, or some Singaporean movie. They watched the clip countless times on Youtube and could act out on a whim.

I missed my niece's first birthday yesterday. Another family thing I missed. Hmph.

24

24 is just a number, can?

No.

First

After working for approximately five months (omaigawd, approaching half a year!!), I finally did what I personally think is a milestone in my career. Okay, this is where my self-conscious mode kicks in, "It's not really that nice, in fact given more time I think I can do better, and heck I'm not trying to show off!!"

BUT. I'm gonna be all professional and calmly present to you a game which I designed from beginning till the end. When I say design, I mean visually, from the characters design to the game interfaces. Programming and animation credits go to my insanely talented colleagues.

Timeline for this was tight, as was every single brief that came through our door. Unlike back in uni when we had months to work on a project, this was a luxury unseen in the working world. Due to timing and circumstances, I found myself strapped with the design for this game. Had it not for the way things happened, I might not have this awesome responsibility of working on this on my own. The first project where I can say it's my design.

There are still so much that I need to learn, sometimes I don't know where to start. But getting thrown into the deep end of the pool is good sometimes, you're forced to swim, no matter.

So do go to (http://bit.ly/share-itz) to play the game on Facebook! Play together with a friend and you might just stand a chance to win iPads and some amazing prizes!

The W Word

Work can kill the passion of what you are doing if you're not careful.

It's the repetition and ritual. Doing the same things over and over again, to a point when I'm really tired and I'll question myself, "What am I doing here?"

I'm telling myself it's still worth it.

I listened to this radio segment and the deejay was talking on the topic of leading the kind of life you want. There was this one part I couldn't help but agree. Despite all the fall backs, disappointments and doubts one might encounter, it's important to ask yourself every now and then, if whatever you're doing is leading you to the life you want.

Really, I don't know what kind of life I want. Not concretely anyways, does anyone?

All I know is if work still brings a thrill to me when I'm beat and tired, it's okay, I'm still on the right track.

Work. Sounds so much like an obligation, a responsibility. Something everyone crawls out of bed in the morning for. It's what makes Monday blue. It's what people trade their soul and passion for in exchange for bread on the table (gawd... so melodramatic).

One of my friends from secondary school just got engaged. She blogged about the whole proposal and I couldn't help but feel so touched and envious at the same time. It was the most perfect and wonderful proposal I've heard of. It's not right to compare lives, of course, but I can't help but let one of those moments creep up on me and ponder.

Surely life is supposed to be more than just work?

Fatttt Dragoon

Food for the soul~ Yay!

Of 24 Candles and New Toy

Guess how I celebrated my birthday?

Haha... this is a post long past due. Anyhow, I still want to archive it for it's one of the good ones I've had.

For my birthday this year, I wasn't expecting any celebration. I was away from family and also in a new environment. Another thing, I took down my birthday from Facebook, somehow recently birthday reminders from Facebook be it mine or others seemed so insincere.

It's rather awesome coz surprises occurred one after another. Firstly, my new housemates surprised me with a cake when I least expected it, two days before my birthday. They found out the date from my IC, when I gave them a copy for house renting documentation purposes. Truly, I hardly know them that well and yet they went out of their way to make me feel special. Thank you guys!

Then on the real day itself, people from office burst into a brainstorming session and started singing a birthday song for me. Whoa... I felt rather awkward and embarrassed to be the center of attention, but on the other hand rather pleased too. Thank you IFians! (none of them will be reading this, I hope)

I actually spent my birthday slaving away in the company. There was some work to rush and I didn't leave until about ten at night. Once back in my room, I bathed and settled in front of my comp to work on the stuff I brought back. Then all of a sudden, a wave of excited human bodies flung themselves through my room door, singing out of tune birthday song and bringing along a Baskin Robbins cake. Omg... the bodohs of #16 didn't forget about me. Feeling rather stupid myself for being so touched by this.

So all of us, new and old housemates, sat down in the empty leaving room and dug away happily at the ice cream cake. There was so much chatter, everybody's trying to catch up with one another. I miss those bodohs a lot. It felt great to poke fun at them and be laughed at too.

I was supposed to blow at candles and make wishes. But I didn't make a single wish on any of the three cakes. I was happy enough, I didn't need wishes then.

Mom and bro gave me cash to buy myself something. So I bought this! Eason Chan's newest EP and also a brand new Jumbo sketch book plus some fine liners. I wanna drawwww....

Bodohs of #16 with Stella and Tham. Awesome Eichi taking the pic for us. Thank you guys, for making my 24th birthday amazing!

And ohohoho~ on a more recent note, I bought myself a brand new phone. This is bought with my own hard-earned money. Not a single cent from my mom and all that stuff. ALL MINE. New Toy. New Love.

And I'm finally confirmed in my company. I'm a real working adult now. Life is good. =)

First Threadless Tee

This is my first design post in a while. Partly new, partly recycled.

Yo!! This is my first time submitting a design for Threadless! If you've kept an eye on my blog, you'll recognise this from my global warming poster. Well, I thought it looks kinda nice on a tee, so why let it go to waste.

Support me please! I need people to help me vote on this design. But you'll need a Threadless account first, I think. So if you have the time, sign up for an account, and vote for me! There are a lot of other nice designs there, you'll might find something you like, so the account won't go to waste (I guess).

All votes appreciated! Vote high!

ps: Do YOU think this design works on a tee? If not, why? Thank you thank you!

Vote here: http://www.threadless.com/submission/334483/Global_Warning