痛愛

仍然難禁看著你這個壞人　有什麼的吸引
殘酷至此更讓我想靠近
心知要換個別人還是有人
如同前世欠下你的吻　還怎麼敢怒憤
已習慣親朋好友問我怎會為你等
學會講只因這種狠深得我心

＊喜歡你讓我下沉　喜歡你讓我哭
　能持續獲得糟蹋亦滿足
　喜歡你待我薄情　喜歡你為人冷酷
　若是你　也發現　你也喜歡虧待我
　我就讓你永遠痛愛著我
　(我願讓你愛上我更加多)＊

和諧甜美永沒有天意弄人　有什麼的吸引
誰待我好　我就會不過問
偏偏踫著那壞人　全部誘人

全球情侶故事也相近　寧願天昏地暗
要為錯的人傷過恨過　方算是勇敢
長世間不喜歡開心　喜歡痛心

Repeat（＊）＊

I have fallen in love all over again with Eason Chan. Here, he sang Joey's song. It sounded so sad, especially in the chorus. Thus it inspired this little snippet of pain and hurt below (Rui, don't over react, these are just words):

"I can't smile anymore, for I think only of you. Even if I forced myself to, it wavered through my tears.

I have no expectations, only dreams.
I didn't dare hope my dreams will come true, only allow me to continue owning them.
You made no promises, so how could you break a thousand?
There were no attachments, so what was it that got disconnected?

So painful. So very painful yet it is only a pinch compared to the wrenching pain it could have been.

I didn't know I was only dreaming it all, until the day I open my eyes, and woke up. Finally."

I will be going back to Penang for good tomorrow. Hand in the report and that's it. No more living just for the moment. Every step must be calculated. Every second fully utilised. I want my three months break to mean something, and not to be just squandered off, again.

It ends tomorrow. Let it pass soon, so I can stop hoping.