Ah. It felt so strange. Shouldn't really be. I have gotten used to it, really, or so I have been trying to convince myself.
This is one thing I have found out about myself that I am going to adhere to. When I'm angry for no good reasons, or just plain irritable, the best thing to do is lock myself in a room and sleep away the negativity. That way I don't hurt people around me and ultimately, myself.
I find myself having shorter and shorter patience for people and the things they say. I have no patience for people who talked and talked just to fill in the silence. I don't mind if the topic is interesting, but I am as familiar to the subject as I am to the makings of a car engine. The best thing I do is to blank out, and then nod once in a while. The worst is to cut that person off and fill the silence with awkwardness.
Recently I have discovered a new fear. Circumstances and people made me realize it. I don't want it to happen. No. If you wanna do it, then let's do it together. Don't leave me behind.
I should get out more. It will prevent me from thinking too much in this small bubble. Maybe once I see things in a bigger context, the feelings that I have now will be of little importance.
I wish to one day look back at this and laugh at how silly I was.
3 comments:
Pal, you shouldn't be so down on this. We all have some dark side, mentally I mean.
Yeah, get up from where you sitting and hang out with some friends should be able to ease your empty soul.
Haha, me sometime also Tak Tahan some people! Hahaha!
ease my empty soul..? haha~ thanks nigel!!
I guess everyone has their own ways to handle life. Some run away to find out that time and solitairy moments heal and inspire them to make the right choices. Some face the monster in the eye, just to get eaten up.
All in all, it'll be alright in the end. Please note I never said it'll be easy. I think I wrote in my old blog some time ago- that life is like a bumpy crooked road paved with sweet smelling flowers; and human traffic.
Happy Chinese New Year, Kok Quin! I hope you receive the card soon. It's been a week! Oh, and I want to see red hair plus funky boots. Please and thank you and love always, adrienne.
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